by Samantha Flax

(Editors' note: Samantha is the previous president of our Minnesota Association of Blind Students. She now works as the Admissions Coordinator for BLIND (Blindness, Learning in New Dimensions) Inc.) This article offers some valuable perspectives from a blind child who was raised by a blind mom, sighted dad, and blind stepfather).

As an adult child of blind parents, I am often asked about my experiences growing up. Over the past few years, particularly as I participate in advocating for blind parent legislation, this has grown more relevant, not just as what most people find a fascinating talking point, but as a means of educating people on the capabilities of blind parents. I also had many advantages as a blind person having parents who could teach me how to be an independent blind person based on their own knowledge and experiences. When I was asked to write a piece on this very topic for the Minnesota Bulletin, I will admit I drew a blank. What could I say that had not been said already? What should I focus on? Then I remembered that I had written a speech to deliver to blind parents a few years ago that for various reasons was never used. I decided to look back to 2019 Samantha for inspiration. She said that growing up with a totally blind mother, a sighted father, and a blind stepfather gave her a valuable perspective and provided many experiences to share. There are so many different things I could discuss, so I would just like to give a brief synopsis of my story and list some lessons I find most important.

More than once in my life, I have been asked, “What was it like growing up with a blind mother?” Well, being that I do not know anything different, I would be inclined to say normal … But what I usually think about is how incredibly fortunate I was. My mother grew up with complicated expectations from her sighted parents. They are incredible people who had high expectations for her, but their mentality was not always healthy. By the time I was born, my mother was an active Federationist. She put a cane in my hand when I started to walk. She would hear comments about a little kid walking around the conventions with a cane, that was me. She got me travel training, and she was my first braille teacher. I have a vivid memory of a day when I was about four, and my mother was quizzing me on contractions. I remember thinking, I know this is important stuff, but I just want to play with my toys ….

I could go on for pages with stories like that, painting a picture of the childhood that my brother and I experienced, but I do not think anyone wants to read that much of my rambling. Here are a few highlights and lessons that I think are especially important.

• My mom got me involved in my own IEP meetings at an early age. This instilled in me a sense of how to advocate for myself and others.
• My mom and my stepfather were the ones who convinced me to go to training at BLIND, Inc. They wanted me to learn the proper nonvisual techniques for things they never learned to do. My stepdad never learned braille and it hurt his educational experience.
• My dad learned how to read and write uncontracted braille to help us with our homework. When we were still learning how to read, he tried to convince me of the importance of the slate and stylus; at the time I did not believe him.
• Not everything is or should be attributed to blindness: I am a klutz (my stepfather gave this as an example of something to talk about today) and my brother has other struggles that prevent him from fully internalizing the independence and self-advocacy skills that my mother passed on to me.
• Always have matching clothes: when I was younger, I argued with my mom; she would not let me experiment with not matching my clothes on purpose. She said either people would think she or I just did not know any better. It is not fair, but it is true.

Overall, if I could share a message to tie all these various aspects of my life together, I would say that my success is a result of my parents’ belief in me, and their belief in themselves. They prove that blind people can parent successfully, and that young blind adults can be successful as well.