By Mark Erickson

(Editor’s Note:  This is the winner of the 2009 Metro Chapter essay contest.)

I am blind.  I spent 12 years as a blind person, and 40 years as a sighted person.  The transition has been quite a journey, with the first several years as a “partial” and the last two years as a “total.”  The first was woeful and full of “why me,” and things felt hopeless at times.  When I went totally blind, again more feelings of despair and not knowing which way to go or even how to go.  I finally accepted my condition, and pondered what to do if anything.

Today I am at Blindness: Learning in New Dimensions (BLIND) getting adjustment-to-blindness training.  It has been the best decision so far in gaining independence, achieving success in the world of work, and having a chance to live a good life.  The training is good; it is a very rigorous and demanding, but life is like that anyway.

Being immobile and sedentary was not my cup of tea; this was not acceptable.  I asked myself, what are you going to do?  Your family still needs your help and support, emotionally and financially.  The feelings of loss were overwhelming at times, something you can’t anticipate or plan.  My family was in shock and denial; so was I.  The care and love of close friends and peers was vital as they listened to me cry and complain about going blind.  This crying was extremely important in healing from the loss of vision, and the grief of never seeing again.  Being able to have those feelings of anger and sadness were necessary; it helped me get over it and subsequently get on with life, living with blindness, and wanting to live a good life.